Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
