i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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