it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
