Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
3 2 1 whiskey
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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