He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
