I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
my poor anus
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
