I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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