Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
