It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
