If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
