Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
