Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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