her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
