I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Randomize
