the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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