dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
