the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she woke up with a sticky ear
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
