her vagine was all disorganized.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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