i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
What a dumb baby whore.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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