I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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