So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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