I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
be right there i have to get my cape
Randomize