omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
