I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
