Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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