I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
