I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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