Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so explain again why im purple
no
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
