new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
