and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
