problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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