put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
ok first of all what the fuck
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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