found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize