You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
