Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
