I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
