Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
