Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
