i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
