dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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