you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
