cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
