you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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