Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
