he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
