i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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