So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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