I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
