Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Randomize
