shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Drake has all the answers
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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