thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
40s are totally the cure
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
