She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Dick very happy bro
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
