this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
