the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
