my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
