handjob tips. give me some.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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