Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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