pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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