the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
