Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize