Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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