she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
