we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
