you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
