He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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