she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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