I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize