he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
