you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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