It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
