I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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