i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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