well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
